im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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