what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize