you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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