why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
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Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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