We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize