people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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