so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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