I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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