Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
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