After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
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Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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