so explain again why im purple
no
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize