Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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