You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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