My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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