I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize