we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize