GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
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like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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