wrigley field is MILF paradise
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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