i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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