My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize