I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
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I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
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Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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