It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize