Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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