there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
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Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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