i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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