I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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