I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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