were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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