i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize