How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
sarcasm needs its own font
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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