maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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