Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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