My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it's like heaven, but drunker
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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