Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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