so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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