...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
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Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize