but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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