Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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