How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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