turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
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i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
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I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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