take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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