if i died would you start the facebook group?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.â€
Randomize