this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
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Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I forgot wine drunk hurts
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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