Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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