Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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