I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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