Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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