he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize