Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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