He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize